My early years as a single mom revealed I had no talent for vacations. This was an acceptable failure on my own, but subjecting my son to my lousy fun skills seemed terribly unfair.
Disney World saved me. The first time I took Kerry to Disney World, I did so knowing, finally, that I couldn’t go wrong. But it was wrong. Kerry had fun–he was six, it was Disney World–but each day was so…disjointed. We stayed at an Orlando condo, and by day 4 I gratefully seized the opportunity to go home early for a contract. Kerry didn’t mind, which tells you something.
But I realized that in least one respect, I was doing it wrong: I’d used my timeshare points and stayed near, but not on, the property. I could see that staying in a Disney resort gave you additional perks, so the next year we stayed at the All Star Sports property.. Huge improvement. Like if you’re living in the Soviet Union, be a member of the Communist Party. I then made notes on other issues–for example, staying on the property means you get a pass each day, rather than being limited to one day, four days, or five days. I came back again at a more luxurious DW resort and did even better, learning about getting “ride appointments” and so on.
By 2000, Kerry and I had whomped Disney World into providing us epic amusement. The last time we invited my dad and Safia, my little sister, to come along with us and then added in a week at South Beach. But by then, I’d gotten much better anyway, having successfully navigated an Oahu vacation with Dad, Bouchra, and Safia over July 4th. Fantastic time had by all; we saw the Thunderbirds in the day and fireworks at night, standing knee-deep in the surf at Waikiki.
Just before our last Disney World trip, I booked a two week solo trip to Maui and Oahu and explored every inch of both islands–even getting out to Lindbergh’s grave. I got into trouble a few times–had to climb up a cliff to escape high tide. But I was now having adventures worthy of the word “vacation”.
Note: this was at the height of the dotcom boom, when I was both paying off all my bills and enjoying a very high income. As I mention earlier, I then went through a ten year period with very few vacations out of state.
I’d cracked the code. Originally, I thought hey, you just show up and things happen. Yes, this was stupid. Disney World and my determination to give Kerry a great time taught me that I had to seek out the fun I wanted. As you may have noticed, I’m not a planner. But I really like information. Mike, my brother, ribs me constantly that I never make a move without checking it out first on Google. That’s an exaggeration–I have on more than one occasion hit the brakes on a highway to eat at a roadside diner that I know is going to be great, or check out a scenic route or historic site. But it’s not even close to entirely wrong.
Cape Cod has somewhat mythical significance in our family’s life. When we were kids, Grandpa and Gladys always talked about “the Cape”, where Aunt Joan, Uncle Arne, and our five cousins vacationed every summer, eventually building a house in Eastham. They always went out to join them the first week in August. We so longed to go with them and finally, in the early 70s, Mom and Dad rented a cabin and we went out to be with the cool people. We jumped waves, hunted clams, and ate lobsters. It was fantastic. I returned in 1980 on my way home from a solo trip to France (see? I started early), also having a splendid time, and drove to Pittsburgh with Gramps and Betty (Gladys died in 1975, my grandfather remarried a year later). For reasons I can’t remember, Kerry and I went back briefly in 1994.
When I was in Pittsburgh the weekend before the Cape, I asked Uncles Jay and Jimmy what to do. They gave me a list:
- whale watching
- ferry to Nantucket
- Provincetown
- Nickerson State Park
I also envisioned hanging out at the beach a lot, jumping through waves, swimming, relaxing.
And then….it didn’t work out that way.
Monday morning, my first thought,naturally, was “let’s go find a beach”. This turns out to be more complicated I thought, for reasons that immediately seemed obvious. First–and forgive me, for the people who already know this–there is no “Cape Cod” town. Cape Cod is basically a county, known as Barnstable. There are a bunch of towns. I knew this already, knew that Yarmouth was more touristy (as cousin Amy put it) than the towns further out on the Cape. On the other hand, Yarmouth is more beachtown than Upper Cape towns closer to the mainland, like Sandwich (where Amy lives).
If you just google “Yarmouth beach” you’ll come up with beaches aplenty. But parking was relatively pricey, and I’d have to drive there, and that meant committing a whole day to the beach. Nothing wrong with that, but at the time, my mind was set on “Cape Cod is the beach” and it was kind of irritating to be at a resort and have to plan so much just to go to the beach. However, my pique was pretty mild because I recognized the Disney World syndrome–I had just shown up, when I should have done more information gathering. That, reader, is my big takeaway from 30 years ago: instead of being disappointed at the lack of beach, I told myself to do some research, enjoy the food and relaxation, and remember there will be a “next time”.
So Monday, I just drove down Route 6, the artery of Cape Cod, exploring the towns further out. I noticed some things that became the rule all through the Eastern US: breakfast sandwiches are a big ol’ thing. We might have one breakfast sandwich on the menu out west. But out east they treat breakfast sandwiches the way we Californians treat Mission burritos: what kind of meat, what kind of bread, what kind of veggies. Only the egg is constant. And they are phenomenal.
Other common items: homemade icecream and the lobster roll. The lobster roll is not sushi. (Sorry. Megalopolitan in-joke). In fact, a lobster roll is just a lobster salad sandwich. Last thing I noticed time and again: help wanted signs. They were desperate for help everywhere, and this often resulted in (unannounced) reduced hours.
I learned this to my chagrin that very night. Disappointed in my lack of beach time, I consoled myself at least I’d have my first whole lobster in years that very night. The second week of my Arduino class was still 3 to 5, but that translated to 6-8 in Massachusetts. (There was no real Wi-Fi in my bedroom. Fortunately this complex had fabulous conference rooms.). We were now working directly with the Arduino processors, so when class ended some classmates and I were experimenting and organizing our kits. No worries, I thought, most of the restaurants said they were open to 10 or 11 pm. I wrapped everything up and was out on the road looking for lobster by 9pm.
Every lobster shack or seafood restaurant I checked as open was, in fact, closed. I abandoned the dream of lobster and just started looking for dinner. No luck. Everything was closed. At 9:45, I suddenly realized that I’d be lucky to find a supermarket open and indeed, all the big stores were closed. I eventually found a little Brazilian shop and picked up beans, tortillas, and cheese which I heated up in my microwave.
So Day One in Cape Cod was mildly unfulfilling, save for the Arduino class learning experience and the conference room–and the discovery that my resort had yet another excellent indoor pool and hottub. Which I couldn’t check out that evening, alas, as it took me an hour just to find any kind of food. (I had a lot of food that I’d brought on the trip, but I’d expected to have a full kitchen.)
On Tuesday I went to Provincetown, but learned quickly that arriving at 11:30 in the morning was a guarantee of heavy traffic and entirely-full parking lots. But at least I’d learned from Monday and done some research, because I knew P-town could get busy. Outside of the busy town center are some gorgeous hikes. I chose Beech Forest to Herring Cove Beach.. Parking was free! (this is quite rare throughout the Cape). I hiked 3 miles in to the beach, which was gorgeous and definitely satisfied my beach jones, although I only stayed for 30 minutes–enough to enjoy the sounds and the feel of the sand, the water, the beauty. I had three miles back, remember.
I barely returned in time for my class, and this time I wrapped it up right at 8:00–my colleagues were determined to get me out of there in time for a lobster dinner! And so Tuesday, I had a fantastically huge lobster at the Lobster Boat, served to me by a charming Romanian lad working on a summer visa.
That night, I woke and wondered why my legs were itching. Well, they were covered with red bites. The midges–or, as the Obergs refer to them, the “no-see-ums”, tiny insects you don’t feel or see until they’ve eaten you alive. I don’t usually address bites in any way, but these were really uncomfortable, so I went to CVS and got some insect bite Benadryl (I’d never known there was such a thing but google comes through again).
The good news: the whole experience kind of put me off Cape Cod beaches for this trip. I needed to do more research, and until then I needed my legs to recover. Time to check out the pool. I lounged by the pool for the better part of three days–two of which doubled as summer school training.
Instead of being peeved or disappointed, I reminded myself I’m not obligated to go to the beach just because I’m in Cape Cod! Especially if they were going to eat the crap out of my legs!!
On Wednesday, I set out to the Mayflower Beach which in fact has no relationship to history but was supposed to be gorgeous and indeed it was. Once again, though, I’m reminded that beaches in Massachusetts are heavily monetized, which makes sense, really, when you consider the limited amount of beach space they have. California doesn’t monetize its beaches, particularly in my area. It’s rare to even have to pay for parking, and “resident sticker”, a familiar concept in the Bay Area, has no relevance to beach parking. Even in the south, where you often have to pay for parking, it’s not this enormously complicated issue that it is here. I parked in resident parking long enough to get pictures (sadly, lost) and then went to breakfast at the Sesuit Harbor Cafe, a spot so delightful that I willingly left for 40 minutes to go get cash because, although they had an ATM, I had no debit card. (I’d left it at home. What do you mean, not every place has Google Pay?). I sent a picture of my breakfast to Uncle Jimmy who DELETES ALL HIS MESSAGES RIGHT AWAY, a tiny flaw in an otherwise perfect personality. But it was lovely. (Parenthetically, Cape Cod has a number of amazing breakfast spots and they often make corned beef hash from scratch, which can only be regarded as a Great Thing. )
I was determined to knock some of the items off the list Uncles Jimmy and Jay gave me. So once I’d finished summer school training and the Arduino class, I vowed that Saturday and Sunday would be spent exploring. Saturday, I took the ferry to Nantucket and enjoyed the hell out of both the ferry ride and the island. The town itself was a bit touristy but after a cup of coffee, I grabbed a bus away from town and then hiked the rest of the way to Surfside Beach and back, with a salad and diet coke at the Surfside Shack in the middle.
Before I headed back, I discovered the fried clams at Sayles Seafood, which I ate at an outside table, I met a college kid who was being paid living expenses to work on Nantucket valet parking, so desperate were they for labor. That’s a good life, man.
If it sounds like I’m griping about Cape Cod, I’m not. I had a wonderful time, and what it really reinforced in me was how much I have developed my skills in thirty years. I had a number of terrific hikes. Some really good meals. And while I don’t normally lounge by pools, the Cove at Yarmouth really had an outstanding offering on this count and I took advantage of it. I spent four nights lounging in a really outstanding hot tub. I also intend to come back after more research and planning to really explore it in depth.
Sunday, I checked out of my resort early and spent the day at Provincetown, having a 2:30 reservation for whalewatching. (cue foreboding music)
Hypersensitive 
A fun read for anyone who learns things the hard way or is an obsessive planner. The best way probably is somewhere in between!